Assertive Communication is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.
Assertive communicators will:
State needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
Express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
Use “I” statements
Communicate respect for others
Listen well without interrupting
Feel in control of self
Have good eye contact
Speak in a calm and clear tone of voice
Have a relaxed body posture
Feel connected to others
Feel competent and in control
Not allow others to abuse or manipulate them
Stand up for their rights
The impact of a pattern of assertive communication is that these individuals:
Feel connected to others
Feel in control of their lives
Are able to mature because they address issues and problems as they arise
Create a respectful environment for others to grow and mature
The assertive communicator will say, believe, or behave in a way that says:
“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”
“I am confident about who I am.”
“I realize I have choices in my life and I consider my options.”
“I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”
“I can’t control others but I can control myself.”
“I place a high priority on having my rights respected.”
“I am responsible for getting my needs met in a respectful manner.”
“Nobody owes me anything unless they’ve agreed to give it to me.”
“I’m 100% responsible for my own happiness.”
Assertive Communication is the most effective and healthiest form of communication. It’s how we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence to communicate without games and manipulation. When we are being assertive, we work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions. We communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and strive for a win/win situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly, assertive is the style most people use least.
Director
Directors are bold and direct folks who focus on the big picture and tend to be competitive, aggressive, and ambitious. They get right to the point and generally do it in as few words as possible. Directors may come across as forceful and intimidating to others. They are concerned with achieving their goals and often forget about the needs of the people carrying the workload. Directors like being involved in several projects at once, are not detail-oriented and can underestimate how long a task will take. They are unafraid of conflict, may seem stubborn in defending their ideas and thrive on taking charge.
These are my dominant styles of communication.
These are my dominant styles of communication.
This post is compliments of: Coaching-for-new-women-managers.com, Serenityonlinetherapy.com, Angelfire.com
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