Assertive Communication is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.
Assertive communicators will:
State needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
Express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully
Use “I” statements
Communicate respect for others
Listen well without interrupting
Feel in control of self
Have good eye contact
Speak in a calm and clear tone of voice
Have a relaxed body posture
Feel connected to others
Feel competent and in control
Not allow others to abuse or manipulate them
Stand up for their rights
The impact of a pattern of assertive communication is that these individuals:
Feel connected to others
Feel in control of their lives
Are able to mature because they address issues and problems as they arise
Create a respectful environment for others to grow and mature
The assertive communicator will say, believe, or behave in a way that says:
“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”
“I am confident about who I am.”
“I realize I have choices in my life and I consider my options.”
“I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”
“I can’t control others but I can control myself.”
“I place a high priority on having my rights respected.”
“I am responsible for getting my needs met in a respectful manner.”
“Nobody owes me anything unless they’ve agreed to give it to me.”
“I’m 100% responsible for my own happiness.”
